About 3 to 4 weeks ago, I received so ago I received some insence. I started burning it and noticed my Shady had become absent, I thought about it really quick and put up the insence. Remembering he can smell 100 times better.
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Anyway, he started coming out again. However, he refuses to come to me, refusing to let me pet him. Finally for the first time since I caught him sleeping with me. I felt so bad I had to get up to use the potty.
I have had Shady since he was 3 weeks old. Never has he been hit in any way shape or form. The worst to happen to him is we moved out of our house into another but he left behind his brother who was over a year younger. That was over a year ago.
So why won't he come to me? Why won't he let me pet him? Why doesn't he lay with me? All these were common place 4 weeks ago. I am extremely sad! I beg and beg for him to come to me. I talk to him like I always have. It's always just been he and I. He is 5 or 6 years old. I'm devastated! I can't take this. I mean I have to but I don't want it to be this way. I want it to go back to normal and I don't know how to make that happen. I'm at a loss and desperate for answers. What can I do? I've not been pushing him. I've just been waiting for him to come around. But, he isn't. What can or what do I need to do? I'm 56 years old and he has been my baby forever as far as I'm concerned and it was all his choice.
Please help!
Shady's Mom
Hi @donnawood ,
I'm sorry to hear you and Shady are going through a rough patch. You're absolutely right that the incense could have caused this to begin with - cats are very sensitive creatures!
There are several possibilities - one, he's still leery of the smell - perhaps it lingers on your clothes? Or he just associates it with you? It's possible this could still be upsetting him, and it could take time to come around from that. Have you tried playing with him? Or setting treats in your hand and waiting? What about training him with a clicker toy and treats, to re-set your relationship?
The second possibility is that the incense is a coincidence and there's something else wrong. If you're still worried, I'd consider a vet visit, especially if he hasn't had one recently. He could be hiding the signs of internal diseases such as heart disease, kidney disease, or cancer, and this is why his behavior has changed. Whilst this is unlikely, if the behavior is that unusual for Shady I would definitely consider a visit to put your mind at rest.
Of course, as we've said, cats are sensitive - I'd also have a think about whether anything else could have happened. Could there be building work in the street? Or a new cat in the neighborhood who is bullying him? You haven't said whether he's allowed outdoors, but even indoor cats can be bullied by cats staring through the window. Any new furniture? Any change in your routine?
Anyway, I hope I've given you some stuff to think about, hopefully there's nothing wrong and he's just playing hard to get. Remember, cats can tell a lot from our tone of voice and even our emotions, and he might be unsure why you're feeling so upset. Often, with cats, it's best to ignore them and let them come to you, then reward them when they do.
Good luck!
Hey Donna - Dr. Wooten here. Dr. Woodnutt has lots of great suggestions that are worth a try. I would also say that it is worth a try to mist your clothing with Feliway, a feline stress hormone that comes in a spray/diffuser/wipes/collar that humans can't smell, but cats can pick up. The hormone is the same that mother cats emit when they are nursing their kittens, and it is very calming and might entice your cat to cuddle.
Cats can also pick up on your emotional distress, so how your mental and emotional state? Are you calming your own energy, or do you have frantic, worried energy that he is picking up on? Breathe, my friend!
If all these suggestions don't work then definitely get him checked out by your local vet.